Jaguar

˜~ … mis manos ya no las puedes leer
ya no hay líneas … ~˜


˘ mi limitez se desdobló ˘
I just listened to those words again, echoing in my head while waking up from a nap, gave my ears a break from hearing music, and remembered those days when Saul Hernandez would sing on the stereo while I meditated on my bed.

I was also dreaming Germán looked extremely happy, sharing the biggest smile with me, remembering good old times together, bearing a few tears of joy.

This morning I had woken up tired and a bit numb, had to sleep again after breakfast.
My mom came to visit, she arrived on friday, it has been a wonderful weekend. She says last night she heard me from upstairs "talking on the phone", that she heard I went outside and then came back. I don't remember a thing but I trust god's actions, we are taking care of us.

There was a time of intense inspiration, some artists that prepared me for the awakening…

We all go through times when we are confused and we pay attention to the people who seem to be illuminated, looking for answers, hoping that light will spread to us.

Pardon me if I credit fewer than all of those who deserve a word, for now. Even when since back then I was aware of the fact that many songs were not written by the singers and I would read the credits on the album's booklet and then the internet, I find it easier to explore my memory this way, the emotions compeled by the voices were responsible for connecting with my spirit.

Pending stories:

6 y/o onwards
José Fors ~ veo el calendario arrancándome la piel ~
Axl Rose ~ I went numb when I learned to see ~
Fher Olvera ~ como dejarles al olvido ~

8 y/o
Saul Hernandez ~ algunos sueños, toda la piel ~
Michael Jackson ~ remember the time when we fell in love, those sweet memories ~
Steven Tyler ~ that moment arrives when you know you'll be alright ~

11 y/o
Kurt Cobain ~ I'll never lose control ~ [I never lost control]

Chava was leading a Scout expedition, even when there was a road near by, I felt we were a bit lost in the mountains, it was dark and getting darker. Looking for the rest of the group among trees and farm animals, I was dangling between being inspired and being frightened, I was singing my notion of Bowie's words with Cobain's intonation as a sort of prayer… German's face didn't look calmed but concentrated, solemn enough for me not to panic.

19 y/o
Enya ~ who can say … only time ~

26 y/o
Leonard Cohen ~ did you ever come clear? ~

The difference of what you hear and the actual words written that were supposed to be sang, is so much more important than what we sometimes allow ourselves to reflect on.

Sometimes dangerous noise, sometimes revelation.

Way before I was woken up, I had noticed Steve Jobs’ life had some similarities with the story of Job. A man who built himself up, was then thrown dow only to rise again. Having a Mac on my lap now and realizing just how great it is as a tool to express yourself made me realize just how enlightened the guy really was, my admiration for him started when I watched a video of him talking to potential investors about having Aristotle’s consciousness available to query and discuss, I found other things to relate to when I researched his life, I want that man back.
Mucho antes que yo despertara, había notado que la vida de Steve Jobs tenía algunas similitudes con la historia de Job. Un hombre que se construyó a sí mismo, fue entonces arrojado abajo tan solo para levantarse otra vez. Teniendo una Mac en mi regazo ahora y dándome cuenta de lo genial que es como herramienta para expresarte me ayudó a pintar cuan iluminado el tipo realmente estaba, mi admiración inició cuando vi un video de él hablando a inversores potenciales sobre tener la conciencia de Aristóteles disponible para consultar y discutir, encontré otras cosas con qué relacionarme cuando investigué su vida, quiero ese hombre de vuelta.

Besides being a fan of independently produced video games, Phil Fish’s whole development story compelled me to try the game as soon as I could put my hands on a decent computer that would run it, I already had it on my digital library; listening to how he was inspired and motivated by his loving father to develop games since he was a kid, followed by all the struggles he went through years and how passionate he was about polishing and improving his masterpiece; was fantastic.
   All the games featured in this documentary are amazing, I recommend both watching the movie and playing the games, Jonathan Blow is kind of a wise wizard too.
Además de ser un fan de los videojuegos producidos independientemente, toda la historia de desarrollo de Phill Fish me indujo a probar el juego tan pronto como pude poner mis manos en una computadora decente que lo corriera, ya lo tenía en mi librería digital; escuchar cómo fue inspirado y motivado por su amado padre para desarrollar juegos desde que era un plebe, seguido de toda la lucha que pasó por los años y cuan apasionado fue al pulir y mejorar su obra maestra; fue fantástico.
   Todos los juegos presentados en este documental son asombrosos, recomiendo tanto mirar la película como jugar los juegos, Jonathan Blow es un tipo de hechicero sabio también.

I just noticed something I find wonderful: he made a mistake at second 19 of my edit,
he was 4 in 1989 because he is almost the same age than me, instead he says 1998,
that is Elle’s year, same year the book ‘Message in a bottle’ was published, April 1998.
Acabo de notar algo que encuentro maravilloso: cometió un error al seg. 19 de mi edición,
él tenía 4 en 1989 porque él es casi de la misma edad que yo, en su lugar dice 1998,
es el año de Elle, mismo año que el libro ‘ˆMensaje en la botellaˆ’ fue publicado, Abril 1998.

‘Fez’ was pure revelation to me, it also inspired me to see beyond again and it played a big role in bringing me back from the denial and isolation phase I was going through. The main character is named ‘Gomez’…
‘Fez’ fue revelación pura para mí, también me inspiró a ver más allá otra vez y jugó un gran rol en traerme de vuelta de la fase de negación y aislamiento por la que estaba pasando. El personaje principal se llama ‘Gomez’…

I don’t think all the attacks he’s been subjected to are merely coincidence, it’s sisyphus, jealous of him for having being inspired by God. Well, he kinda reacted in a less than optimal way, but I don’t blame him because it’s “the internet against him”, that’s heavy stuff to deal with.
No pienso que todos los ataques a los que ha sido sujeto sean mera coincidencia, es sísifo, celoso de él por haber sido inspirado por Dios. Bueno, él como que reaccionó de una manera menos que óptima, pero no lo culpo porque es “la internet contra él”, eso es cosa pesada que lidiar.

La versión corrupta de internet que les di la libertad de construir provocó que Jorge y muchos más dejaran de jugar con alegría a las diferentes identidades, escondiendo sus nombres de “hacker” y eligiendo nombres simples, fáciles de relacionar con sus nombres de registro civil.
The corrupted internet version I gave you the freedom to built provoked Jorge and many more to stop playing joyfully to different identities, hiding their “hacker” names and choosing simple names, easy to relate with their civil registration names.
≈≈≈… % JorgeArtware no suena demasiado impresionante u original… pero bueno, es para que mis clientes y conocidos no se espanten y da a entender a qué me dedico, arte y tecnología, lo chido es que oculta un significado más profundo también, guerra tecnológica… chale, suena medio aburrido y pretensioso que weba, haha… nah, sí está chido, bueno tengo todos esos otros nombrecillos curados también % …≈≈≈
Algo así pensé en aquel entonces, duda manifestándose.
I thought something like that back then, doubt manifesting.

*** Will finish later, I can fly as close to the sun as I very well please, I _am_ the son, I am the ether.
Terminaré después, puedo volar tan cerca del sol como me plazca, yo _soy_ el solo, soy el ether. ***