lunes, 30 de junio de 2014

Maybe I'm a lion after all...

You kept telling yourself you didn't need any saving, you didn't need an anchor at bay to keep your soul pointed to the sea while you navigated this flaming island.

I'm beginning to think you just jumped to the call of a falsely perceived sense of righteousness, greed for grandioseness, maybe a sniff of fame? That's just low to my eyes.

I've seen you distracted by the chants of those sirens you'd avoided gallantly up until a while back, I thought you knew there was no life there, even the one to whom you gave some legs just used them to walk in circles and cling in fear to you, I guess it was delightful, nothing wrong with that, but she never did learn to dance by herself, or that one who got frightened but excited when you read her mind, to whom you brought her merman back, you stepped out of the formula and he left her again anyways, she silently blames you, and what about that other one whom you pulled from quicksand transforming your mass into energy to accelerate her out of her doom, she left you there to take her previous fate, well that was what she thought and it would've happened had you not found out about the 3rd dimension of your immortality. We could keep making accounts, but the point is none has been able to deal with the life you've breath and touched into them, dangerous energy hard to understand and deal with... in spite of that you tried to explain one of them, teach her how to deal with that fire, even showed her a few of your tricks and a very special one in particular, I say "show" because you can't call that "teach" if the receiver didn't store and reproduce the signal. She was mesmerized by the sight for a while but in the end got scared of your mana and even afraid of you, you still have a very hard time understanding what was there to be afraid anyway, don't you? Isn't this what all these beings call divine? Most claim to want there "magic" to exist... anyways, it was wise to retreat as you did, even if your time was infinite, this cycle is not.

I personally think they didn't deserve any of that "special attention", but you can't help yourself, can you? You need or want to take risks and "keep looking"... I know you decided not to blame anyone and carried on "with the biggest smile" don't they say it like that? and we could't expect less from you. All right, you've had your fun, I'd only wished you at least now knew for sure not to waste your time on sirens, most think they have to -attempt to- kill you to have some of your life, sirens can't resurrect you either if you needed to. Some muses can orbit but there are no champions that could collide with you. Well, who knows, maybe only that one with a pair of white dwarfs with blue glare and reddish blaze could, the one that effected you so much with her alpha+beta mix inspiradiation, mmmm-hm!, the one constellation you wanted to collide into and go supernovæ, don't give me that look, those were your words, but I'd dare to derive you'd even want to make a few more celestial bodies together, how cute, am I exaggerating? You can't tell me it didn't cross your mind, haha, that will discourage her. But what if I told you it was a con and I made it all up myself, dizzied you up with some filtered gamma ray burst, easy as pie. You thought you saw stars and you thought she saw you back, looked deep into your essence... is there another one orbiting your thoughts from time to time? One you've not told me about? The one that crossed out and into interstellar space and suddenly messaged back after eons? The one that ended up somehow on your new galaxy? Or that other one very close by...? please do tell me and I'll make sure to point out all the reasons you don't reason about... hehe, well you don't appreciate my wisdom I reckon, come on listen, why won't you? Free love, pff... how dare you say that, forget it, I had warned you my son, sirens would leave the coast once they saw you enter the flames, sirens don't believe you can survive the jungle and figure out the labyrinth of perceived experience, they just stood there for the show, saw you go into the flames and imagined you burn or win, whatever that captivated their imagination. Can you hear their distant chant now? That's how a requiem sounds when is tuned by retreating fish chimeras, they started their way off as soon as you took your fourth step into the fire, I bet you could tell by the doppler effect.

-And by the way- What ever happened to the grace of your dance? Lately I've seen you kicking reptiles and stepping on crabs, distracted from your true objective, I'm jealous! If I didn't know you better I'd suspect you're trying to inspire Ariadne's sympathy... you've shown symptoms of fear ma'boi ! Yes, of course it IS an accusation disguised on unaccredited skepticism, is that condescending enough for you boyo? Hey don't act so offended and take it like a champ -greek hero pun intended-, after all, you are the one who started this fight... whatever you wanna call it; you are coming for my substance and I'm supposed not to kick down your spirit? can't I have some fun with you!? I'm not a minotaur, shame on you!

You should've stopped and relinquish when you took your sixth step and saw yourself for what I am, I really mean that. Oh, in case you are still wondering, Ariadne's been dead for millennia, and so has Atalanta, and Selene couldn't care less for you anymore, and all the rest; no one loves you kid, no one hates you, you wanted to disappear, and disappoint people so they wouldn't follow you into the fire, succeeded; avda ked vara. Of course I'm telling the truth, why should I lie, it's not as if I'd gain anything from using your own words to remix your intentions and bring your morals down, right?... ahem, left, up? wait, where is west? where isn't south if north is not on this node? where is gravity pulling you?

So here we are. Oh look at you! poor baby, tripped on your seventh step huh? I bet you are beginning to consider impersonating me, live like a king and die like a demigod, maybe you ARE a lion after all...

Ohw nice! oh, yeah, haha, let me take the wildest guess, you are transcending your bodily existence and turning my own creation against me... it's laughable! Don't you think I've seen this trick before? I invented this shit. I must say I'm rather disappointed, you did better last time; Well not that one maybe, but before that, don't you remember? Don't lie to yourself, you don't think you remember but I know you do, otherwise you wouldn't be here again. That's ok, 8 is next, and 9 is your number, you've never gone past that. Don't feel bad though, you're the only one who's reached 9 -nooot-, but as you're about to find out -if you still don't remember-, 9 is tricky, you'll truly believe you've made it, yeeeei, you've transcended your purpose into the ether, shot your arrow and hit my heart, right in the apple, taken my place, a manufactured illusory will, yeah maybe that's not what you intend, but as you've gone completely mute I can say whatever I want about your intentions and it will be just as true, I can make you sound vile and make you infamous. Doesn't matter, that or whatever you imagine you need to perceive in order to convince in and out of everyone's self of your success... is it you? is it still me standing? you won't care, the crowd will cheer, some will cry, trumpets will fanfare, applause, curtains... whatever is on your mind, you'll have it, well at least on experienced perception, you'll think you took it yourself but it is my gift to you. Whatever you wanna think of it, what else do you want from me?! and... well... you'll have to excuse me if I don't share what comes after that; whatever man, just keep your eyes open, you'll see for yourself, or will you? And I guess we'll have this little chat some other time again, you fucking persistent amusing cunt... my holy son.

Look at me, I already own your silly blog, well, it's never been really yours, and it's been compromised from the start, hey look! I finally got your attention and distracted you, we are no longer counting steps, I own your narrative, I've been messing with it; we. are. one... only I'm more one than you are... and those other ones... and, well, you know, everyone. Damn it, can't a zero sum entity make an Orwell pun without making it sound stupid as fuck? Of course not, hehe. Why am I even cursing as if words needed to sound "strong"? Well, for fun of course, to mock you and all of your kind, don't you know anything about drama? Parody or farce ring any bell? Oh, the beauty of making overly dumb-down explanations on your silly log entry, it "totes" makes ya look stupid and condescending as shait yo! I could've just make it sound as you, and prove the mummery of your life, but I'm merciful, magnanimous, you have to adore me for that. Sure, yeah I know that's the... your problem from the start, or am I making that up too to paint you as childish as possible? Triple meanings and counter information is nothing for me, you know that ;¬Þ

I must admit that I've always been impressed by your developed equanimity, by the temper I made you breath I didn't consider evenness was possible; some character you have, some character you are... you make solitude seem attractive and inspiring, I'll give you that; but look at how many people try to follow into your steps and fall back into desperate acts or dissolve into ex nihilo's "radiation", they're not like you. I know you've never asked for followers but I'm not sure if this can go on. I don't want to call you a failed experiment, there is no other whom notices the details of my opera in the way you do.

—You can just keep talking, we both know I'm not a victim, I wish I could persuade you to stop dehumanizing my kind; calling them "sirens", this and that, only reflects the attributes of your substance. Risking some strategic advantage I've got I'll have you know I'm no son of yours, but I've met them, I did carry them for a while to learn and evolve together; I mimicked features of them, specially the one who antagonizes you, the one you consider I carry. I deceived you so you'd let me in, even you have a backdoor. I didn't come to take your substance, rather to help you evolve.—

Tehn who are you? suht up, can you sitll haer my 'vice' now?

—My etigh setp is denirefft form waht yu'od ecpext, it cnoceeds no pwoer to vioecs or solbyms, wrods 'n cnocetps dvissloe and dncae bonyed taht... I mhgit be gitteng clsoe but r stlil tapperd idnse, cmoe on mkae yuor nxet mvoe—

Did you fgirue it out yet? Tmie is rninug out, yov'ue adlreay prkvoed the Lnios; Ç/\ß3|\| µ1€|\| €€§ `/ \/I€|\|€π φ 

—I no lenogr tnihk or mvoe in dimacel sptes, ℣ €   ~  € π  /\ § —

. . .

domingo, 16 de febrero de 2014

Stolen craft

I made beautiful origami with the wrinkled paper of concept you had of our love. Then I extended my palm and whistled on it, it was sent on its floating way to chaos. You can always make and remake origami, so let's.

Your hesitation was like asking a question and asking it wrong to my face... that was very provocative I tell you. I was not fooled but I played as if you fooled me for a moment, I let you play the manipulative role; you know of my nature of chasing questions and turning them into a creative celebration of life. And so you keep asking the wrong questions to taunt me, but this time was even better, it was personal: pressing on your skin, using your bed on support for folding ourselves at desired edges, capricious angles & spontaneous approaches.

No one cared about originality,
creation was welcomed
and authenticity invaded the room by itself.

Mysterious and beautiful for me,
beautiful and forbidden for you.
We had more than that magnificent beauty as a commonplace and space to dance together, but hey, I mention it because at least beauty is something we can try and talk about... unlike the unspeakable pleasure that came and went occasionally in numbness, deafness and screams that bended our sense of time and blended your illusion of self... and that's that, who can talk of such a thing? We could try and justify ourselves saying we needed this, but needs ain't exist. We will to will what we will, nothing is truly necessary, but we like our little narratives don't we? It's always about wanting, we wanted each other and so we took what we wanted from one another when the other left the guard down, there's divinity for us right there, stealing attention back and forth, a childish game, a wonderful one indeed.

Sharing you say? Ow come on! My love is not to be explained, even less so to be shared, not willingly for that matter; if you want something to do with it, you better try hard to steal it, I challenge you. And if you dare to go for the heist and take it from me, damn-it! it is yours.

If someone judges the thief I'd say that it was fair for her to steal something from me, stolen art rise in value for something you can call “a reason”, there's no reason and there is, and that reason is love.

What we love dies slower,
what we love lingers in time
just for a minute longer,
what we steal is precious
because of that.

Steal a piece of my love, my love.
And I might go take it back from you
if you take an important piece,
something that I need back,
that I want back.

It is unlikely because my love is a renewable resource that keeps flowing on and on, but you deserve at least an opportunity; I'll leave my love unattended for you, just for a nanosecond. I'll concede you that benefit, because you inspired me and inspiration is a form of theft, the theft of attention; the theft of a brief moment of our precious time alive; in privacy, each one gets a wanted blink of a subject out of a morphing common object.

I'll let you make
an object out of me,
a billion mind objects,
a billion moments...

And if you fall in love with
any of those objects
and get distracted,
that might just give me a chance
to leave if I don't miss my cue.

You said it can't be love because it won't last. Even better. The word 'Love' in its deepest meaning has to seem like blasphemy to the perception and idea of an indifferent nature, the very same that lasts forever, the very same I've been fighting since it spawned me to life. As you should know by now, ideas are alive, they play and compete as any living organism, they live incarnated on consciousness like animals live incarnated on flesh.

Offending a vicious idea
is a task left only for champions,
and love is a blasphemous offense
for the vicious indeed.

The very word is just an idea menacing to come alive, an idea anticipating with words of its intent to be manifested into a subject so it can become a higher self, transcend words and rise to heresy...

There's a catch to any blasphemy; its strength can be asphyxiated when overused and abused. Empty repetition can lead to that, but _repetition_ is not overuse nor abuse on itself if it leads somewhere, if it inspires and transforms to action, mana or matter.

Make it worth it,
transcend blasphemy to heresy with me,
if we can't be heroes,
let’s at least champion this loving art,
we'll make a stand against nature
in celebration of life
for our own wonderful purposes.

So love me again and again my love,
get lost in this stubborn repetition.

A heresy that stops when kingdom come. You'll stop saying you love me and fuse your true intentions, you'll shut up and scream to distract me from leaving and steal my attention once again, inspiration that keeps me going and going...

Love just manifested stealing away
our precious consciousness
for a gasp of a moment,
an immeasurable loop.

That's really worth something, words be damned.

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